Lessons in the Dark
by used romance
Summary: WIP Lucius plans to take Harry away - on the condition that he learns a few lessons about being a creature of the night first. slash Lucius/Harry
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **This is a sequel to the story "Guiding Light," though it's not necessary to have read that piece to get this one.

I planned this sequel since the end of GL, I think, though I had writer's block for a while. Then I figured out what I wanted to write. In _church_. I'm going to hell for so many reasons.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make and money from these works.

**Warnings: **man on man sex. Like, a lot.

**Lessons in the Dark**

_Prologue_

He looked as he always did in Harry's dreams; his pale golden hair brushed just past his broad shoulders, the same grand cape draped across him, the same white clothes under it, and he glowed as if he was not of this world.

_And now you know he truly isn't, _he reminded himself, noting the blood running from those silver eyes.

Yet for all the similarities, Harry wondered if this was the same man. He had never seen him look so desperate, so mad with hunger (or desire, he wasn't sure). It seemed like an impossible moment, as if they transcended time itself, and Harry's eyes roved over Lucius, his own bed things fallen carelessly on the floor by the man's shoes.

"My love, my only heart… I've come back for you."

It frightened him to hear Lucius speak with such a voice, weakened and desperate, because the man he knew was _anything _but weak. But what if this was truly him? Had his memory so distorted this being? Was what he remembered truly just something he imagined, something he fancied for reality?

"Are you-?" He stopped speaking when he realized his voice was heavy with the same intonation. It wasn't weakness in Lucius' voice, no; he was overwhelmed at the sight of Harry, as Harry was at the sight of Lucius. His eyes watered, but he blinked back the tears, determined to see Lucius with fresh eyes.

And Harry had found him! There, there was that man he so loved, in that very same desperation and madness and hunger, Lucius attempted to recomposed himself swiftly; he was held together by his self-control, bound in his magnificent form by his own sense of decorum.

"I thought you were something I dreamed," Harry whispered. "All these years, I prayed you weren't."

And then Lucius was upon him. Anything either man had believed Lucius possessed in terms of control disappeared, and he was grabbing Harry up with both arms, kissing the boy in a way he had never kissed him before, his lips persistent, his tongue stroking and twisting in Harry's mouth.

Harry groaned when Lucius pressed him to a wall. The man was running his hands over Harry, and Harry tried to do the same, and though he felt himself fumbling, he couldn't bring himself to care. He moved to catch the blood tears coming from Lucius' eyes, unconscious of the fact yet so very aware of the taste on his tongue. With Lucius against him, he was feeling something strange and wonderful inside him, starting from where Lucius had put his leg just between Harry's, and he was moving gently but so insistently and-

"_Oh._"

His back arched, his breath quickened. He felt a heavy weight between his legs, a strange stirring and heat, and he was frightened, but Lucius was staring at him with darkened grey eyes and still moving steadily, though surely he must have felt it, too.

"What is this?" he whispered breathlessly. "Lucius?"

But the man had buried his face into Harry's neck, and one of his hands grabbed at Harry, squeezing lightly and making him cry out, sob with the _vastness_ of what he was feeling.

And suddenly, it stopped.

He began to beg blindly, his eyes shut at the abrupt halt of the sensations, because whatever was happening, he didn't want it to end. Lucius began to touch him again, stroking his face, holding his hands gently.

"Look at me," He was so calm, as if he hadn't been caressing Harry so passionately only a moment ago. But the boy obeyed, opening his eyes to see an unusual coldness in the man's eyes, the blood still shining on his cheeks.

"Forgive me; I had not intended for things to progress in that manner. I must speak with you on a few matters, if I may."

The tone made him forget the foreign pleasure. Harry hissed, finding strength which he thought was lost on seeing Lucius. "What is wrong with you? A few years have gone by, and suddenly you and I are strangers? Don't you dare use that kind of formality with me. Tell me what in God's name is going on, or so help me-"

"You drank my blood," Lucius said abruptly, staring at Harry's lips intently.

He almost began to protest before he remembered the hungry way he lapped at the man's tears. He almost recoiled in shame at the thought. He began to think that it was those few drops which returned the fire to his speech, the same way they used to make him feel whole again when he was a child. "You allowed me to do so all those years ago," he said defensively.

A look of pain shot across Lucius' features. "It was a foolish mistake." He withdrew a white handkerchief from a pocket, opening it to erase the traces of blood on his face before replacing it.

Harry's brow furrowed. "Mistake," he repeated hollowly. He felt himself grow cold, and he began to wonder what Lucius was doing here at all.

"Yes… At the time, I was not behaving appropriately for a man of my years."

"And what do you mean by 'a man of your years,' then?"

He looked up at Harry sharply. "You know now what I am, don't you?"

"Of course I do." A hint of a smile brushed along Harry's lips. He raised a hand and, ignoring the way Lucius tried to draw back from his touch, held it to Lucius' cheek. "You are my angel."

Despite his initial trepidation, Lucius leaned gently into Harry's hand, and the sigh coming from him was rough, shuddering. "I am no such thing." He turned to nuzzle the palm of the coarse hand, to sniff at the pulse of the wrist.

"I have survived for so long. If there was any justice in this world, I would have been long conquered by death. I have - _sinned_ against many. But instead of justice, I…" he stared at Harry with love in his eyes and devotion on his tongue, "I received _you_."

Harry gulped, wetting his suddenly dry lips. "Kiss me… Kiss me like you used to, Lucius," he whispered.

"I can't."

He let his lips graze over Harry's pulse point before drawing away yet again.

"Please, Harry, listen to what I have to say… You have grown so very beautiful, so very distracting."

"Oh, I -" He felt his face heat with a blush. He had forgotten how Lucius used to speak to him. It made his heart tremble and swell. "I'm sorry?"

The laughter spread through Lucius' face like sunshine. He saw it before he heard it, but when the sound flowed from the man, Harry couldn't help but to grin and join. Lucius tugged Harry to him, hugged him tightly and pressed his face to Harry's wild hair.

"I have missed you, my darling boy."

Harry reached up to kiss Lucius again, this time like a child would, all sweetness and love.

"Let me explain myself, Harry, please. I have so much I need you to know."

He nodded, relieved to find the coolness in Lucius had dissipated, leaving the same kind, indulgent man he remembered. They moved to the bare bed, and Lucius apologetically picked up the pillow and blanket from the floor. He placed then neatly on the edge before settling before Harry, who sat cross-legged on the bed, eager to hear what Lucius had to say to him. He watched for a moment as Lucius sat with his legs off the side of the bed, half-facing Harry, until the boy murmured, "This is ridiculous," before crawling to fit himself on Lucius' lap, one arm loosely hung around the man's neck while the other latched onto the front of Lucius' clothes.

"You're home," he whispered, as if in explanation of his actions. Lucius seemed to understand him, because he wrapped his arms around Harry and tucked the boy's head beneath his chin.

"You've grown so much, but you're still so small," he commented lightly, though Harry heard what was not said, the blame for those below, Harry's family. But he didn't want to talk about them just yet; they would only darken what light Lucius had bought to him.

"I feel like a child again, with you, though I'm a man grown now."

He felt Lucius chuckle. "Hardly. If you saw yourself through my eyes -"

"The eyes of an immortal," Harry helpfully supplemented. He threaded his fingers through the crisscrossing over Lucius' chest, lacing the white vest together. He felt the man still around him.

"…Perhaps you should tell me what you know before we begin."

"I don't know anything," he said quite honestly. "It's all speculation." Speculation which was only recently validated, he thought. He had thought about the man so long, about the was he healed him with his wet kisses, the way he shared his blood, and now, the way the man looked to impossibly unchanged after ten years. He wondered if he should have been more hesitant to let the word pass his lips, but it was no more significant than telling Lucius the color of his hair or of his eyes; it was who Lucius was, and had always been.

"And you have never spoken of me to anyone?"

Harry was almost offended by the hint of doubt in his voice, but then he supposed it was a logical query. If Harry had told anyone, Lucius would be in danger coming back to him. He shifted uncomfortably when he remembered the conversation he had just before coming home - with the man who claimed to be - no, the man Harry knew was not a man.

"I've only ever spoken to God about you," he said honestly.

He heard the smile coloring the quip, "Oh, and what did he say?"

"_He will make an offer to you, and you must refuse it."_

Harry's throat tightened when he understood the implication of the words. The man - _God_, he thought with bewilderment_ -_ told Harry that if he accepted Lucius, Harry would lose the chance to join his family in the afterlife. He didn't quite realize what He meant then, but now he saw it, like a dream becoming corporeal.

"Are you going to take me from this place?" he asked in a small voice, not daring reveal his hope, but feeling it fill him completely. "Are you going to take me away?"

Lucius hesitated to answer. He slid a hand over Harry's wrist, holding it in a gentle grip. "Are you frightened?"

Harry choked on a sob, pressing his face to Lucius' neck even as he felt his tears hot on the man's cool skin. "Only that you will say no."

He had never dared to dream of such a thing, an _escape_, yet here it was now, holding him, stroking his hair, murmuring sweet words to him. As his tears soaked into Lucius' fine clothes, he began to cry not just at the beautiful thought of leaving this dark place, but at the loss of his true family, those who had died long ago, those he would never see again - because he knew, perhaps he had always known, they were gone from him forever. He couldn't say no to Lucius, not for the vague promise of those who had left him, not even for the love he felt for the God who had equally abandoned him in his times of distress. It was only Lucius, when he was young and now again, who had provided protection, comfort, and companionship.

The man had pulled out his handkerchief again, cleaning Harry's face himself.

"Please," Lucius seemed still more distressed, "You must understand, I cannot take you as you are, I can only take you if -"

"What must I do?" Harry asked immediately, looking directly into Lucius' eyes. "Just tell me, I swear I'll do whatever you want."

Lucius gently removed Harry from his lap, settling him on the bed as he kneeled on the floor before him. He grasped on of Harry's hand in his two, stroking the back of it lightly.

"You know what I am. You know what I must do to survive." Harry nodded slowly, his fingers twitching at the barely-there sensation on his hand. "Would you be able to live as I do? Could you be as I am?"

Wide, green eyes watched uncertain grey ones. "You mean I could be eternally yours?"

The grey eyes turned to fire and his hand grasped Harry's chin firmly. "_Enough_, Harry. You claim to know what I am, yet you insist on acting like a romantic _fool_."

Harry almost shot back, "I'm not the one on a knee, am I?" but Lucius had already stood and began pacing the room.

"We can't continue this way." He stopped in front of the window, looking down into the empty square. Harry saw his grey eyes focus on something below. He put a hand to his lips in consideration. "There's only one way for you to truly know what I am. I must show you. Tonight, I will teach you what it means to be a vampire."

"And… the blood kiss?" His breathing had begun to race again, so eager was he to taste, to feel. He began to fidget on the bed as Lucius looked at him in surprise. The tread towards Harry seemed to take forever. He held Harry's face in his hands, turning him from side to side as if examining him, a sorrowful look on his face.

"What have I done to you? Are you already so hungry for blood?"

"For blood?" Harry was startled. That wasn't a foolish question, but it wasn't at all what Harry was focused on.

He looked up at the man he so loved, and admitted, "No; hungry for _you_."

* * *

**AN: **I have two chapters ready for posting, but it is still a work in progress. Feel free to leave me some feedback (even in PM form) so I can improve. Or tell me how much you love this. Either one.


	2. Lesson One

**Author's Note: **Another thoroughly unbeta-ed chapter. Because I'm just a rebel like that.

**Lesson in the Dark**

_Lesson One: Feeding_

Lucius was a sight to behold, standing before the open window through which moonlight poured like water and the sounds of horses clopping floated. Even in the dark apparel he had retrieved from the room he kept in the small inn across the square, Harry was in awe at the beauty of this man; in his white garments, Lucius had always emitted an ethereal glow, but in this black clothing, it was almost as if he was an angel trapped in this world, gentle and marvelous but entirely misplaced in the dank attic of a lower-class family with their unwanted ward.

Only, he stared back at Harry with equal openness, the look on his face expressing just what Harry felt - as if he was lucky to be in this very spot, with this very person.

"You looked at me that way every night…" Lucius breathed. "How can you still, after all these years?"

Harry was sure that the man hadn't meant for the disbelief to mingle with the wonder in his voice. "My love couldn't fade for you even if twenty years passed, or when fifty years pass, or even a century, Lucius," he answered with a smile. "But you must know that, or you wouldn't be here."

"You were only a child when you knew me; how can you still be so sure?"

"I grew up with you, Lucius - or at least, the thought of you. And whatever has happened since then, I'm sure the man I loved then can't be so different from the man I love now."

Lucius made a small sound and came to sit beside Harry. "And I see your eloquence has only increased," he said half-teasingly as he held his hand to the boy's cheek.

He knew what would happen if he just leaned forward, pressed his lips to Lucius' smiling ones, and from the look in those grey eyes, the man seemed to be following the same line of thought, but Harry couldn't quite bring himself to care about the consequences.

Lucius' resolve seemed to break at the same moment; their mouth crashed together, and Harry felt himself pressed to his bed, felt the length of Lucius' body against his own in overpowering passion. A cool hand slipped beneath his simple tunic to tease at the hardening nubs on his chest. Harry groaned and arched up into Lucius, momentarily breaking the contact with the man's lips. He panted when his tunic was shoved upwards and wet kisses pressed to his chest, crying out and tugging at Lucius' hair to stop the powerful pleasure, to reclaim that furious mouth and prevent the noises coming from himself.

But when he saw Lucius' face - the wild look in his eyes and the dangerous, protruding fangs - he gave a shudder and pulled the man to him, letting his tongue run along the sharp point of one of the teeth.

Lucius drew back even as Harry felt the cut on his tongue. The man passed his own tongue over his eyetooth, squeezing at Harry's jaw with one firm hand. He knew what Lucius expected; he opened his mouth guiltily and stuck out his tongue to allow the man to heal the cut with his blood. Before Lucius could retreat again, Harry sucked at his tongue, swallowing the taste of the vampire's blood and, when there were no traces of it left, savoring the taste of Lucius until a hand pressed him down to the bed again.

"_Wait_," Lucius whispered breathlessly, holding a hand up and turning his head away. Harry could see his chest moving heavily beneath his fine black clothing, and he struggled to keep his own breathing even. "Harry, why did you…? Your tongue…"

The boy flushed with embarrassment. "I don't know. There's just something - Your teeth make me…"

Lucius seemed to have finally found the calm he sought. He turned to Harry again, his eyes boring into Harry's like a physical force. "Do they excite you, Harry?" Lucius asked in a low voice.

He nodded mutely, trying to decipher the look in the grey eyes and failing to do so before the man's lids shut and he stood, slowly extracting himself from the mass of limbs they had become. Harry heard Lucius take in two deep breaths as he sat on the windowsill, facing away from Harry. He feared some reprimand waited for him on the other side of this silence, so he remained in his position on the bed, looking after Lucius warily.

"Luckily for you," he began lightly, leaning against the frame of the window, his dark form at odds with the white moonlight coming in, "Our first lesson has to do with the vampire's primary weapon. I want to take you with me to feed." He turned to Harry again, the look in his eyes lightened with that same contained passion, and though the hand he held out to the young man was steady. "Will you allow me to show you all I can tonight? Will you be open to everything I have to teach you?"

Harry tried not to show how eager he was as he stood swiftly and held the pale hand tightly in his, though Lucius smiled fondly at him and he knew he thoughts were written on his face. He leaned against the broad chest as a long arm wrapped around his waist. Lucius kept their clasped hands to his chest and he leaned forward as if to lay a kiss on Harry's lips.

"Keep your eyes open," he murmured.

He didn't have the chance to question him before Lucius suddenly pushed out of the window, straight into the hard ground below. There was no time to scream - because suddenly, they weren't going down, they were soaring towards the clouds.

Lucius had tucked Harry's head against his chest, and he felt the wind whipping at his hair and clothes, biting at his skin where his clothes or Lucius' arms didn't cover him. He could see, through his narrowed, watering eyes, that they had left behind his little village, moving towards the larger town nearby. It was exhilarating to be so close to heaven; it felt just like standing on the edge of the cliff at the end of the road, with the wind coming off the shore and feeling like he could reach up and collect the stars themselves.

He barely noticed when they descended onto a strange village, still mesmerized by the night sky. Only the feel of the ground under his shoes startled him into the realization that in a matter of moments, Lucius took them though half a day's journey.

"Did we really just -?" He flushed when Lucius stroked down the side of his face, smiling down at him lovingly. "What is it?" he asked automatically, his brow furrowing.

"It's nothing, love, I just…" And he turned his head away almost shyly, making Harry want to chuckle. "I've lived for so long… and I've never shared that with anyone, you see - the gift of flight."

Harry grinned and nudged Lucius' arm, burrowing himself against his side as they started walking towards the cluster of houses. They had never been outside the walls of his home before, and Harry planned on making the most of it while he could. No one could see them, no one could judge them - but being able to walk with Lucius this was on the road was something he knew he'd cherish, so exhilarating was it. "I could have never imagined that look on your face," he teased. "Are you embarrassed, Lucius?"

"Please," he scoffed, though the corners of his mouth twitched. "A Malfoy is never embarrassed."

"Malfoy?" He warmed at the ease with which Lucius, who had never offered much of himself, now gave such ancient information with ease. "Is that your family name?"

"Yes," he murmured distractedly, his eyes roving over the empty road. "I never could quite shake it."

"I'd like to hear about them someday," he offered gently, knowing too well how volatile the subject of family could be.

An elegant raise of an eyebrow, and Lucius hummed in agreement.

"What are you looking for?" He cringed at how put-out he sounded, though he was, not used to ever having to share the man's attention.

Lucius smirked, recognizing the petulant tone. "Relax, my love, I'm only trying to find our prey." At the wide green eyes, Lucius corrected, "Rather, I must show you how we kill. You won't possibly be able to hunt as you are."

The reminder of their purpose was bracing. Whenever Lucius took Harry's blood, it had only ever been brief tastes, never enough so Harry felt the loss, and certainly not enough to quench a vampire's thirst.

"What was it like for you first time?" he wondered.

As well as the man hid his sudden anxiousness, he heard the lie clearly: "I don't quite remember; it was very long ago… I'm sure it was terribly messy."

Without pressing him for the memory, Harry went on lightly, "By the way, how old _are _you? You didn't answer the first time."

Now, the man chuckled and shook his head. "Trust me when I say I'm much too old for you." Before Harry could reply to the ambiguous answer, he sensed Lucius tensing beside him. A darkness came into his eyes as he narrowed in on a shaded alleyway. "Here," he whispered as he led the curious boy out of the open.

"I'll need you to stay here, Harry."

The words were said calmly; the hands which pressed him to the wall were careful; the lips on his were loving. All these things only heightened the feral light in Lucius' silver gaze.

"Try not to make too much noise, hm?"

He smiled, and Harry caught the sight of those deliciously dangerous teeth for just a moment before Lucius caught his lips once more. Those tendrils of heat were quickly becoming familiar to Harry, and he was disappointed when Lucius drew away, taking that pleasure with him.

Then he was gone.

But no, not gone - he simply vanished into the darkness of the alley, returning heartbeats later with a portly man in hand. Lucius shoved the man against the wall, following in that moment when the stranger's head bounced on the wall and he began to bleed.

Harry recoiled briefly before he saw Lucius nuzzling at the man's neck, murmuring under his breath something only the man could hear. Whatever it was, it made him cry out and cause his knees to give way, both amended when Lucius clapped a hand on the trembling lips and used his own body to support the thick man.

He didn't know if it was the sight of Lucius in this simultaneously strange and natural element, or if it was the phantom memory of that body pressed against his own, but the heat had returned to Harry's lower abdomen, and he could scarcely breathe when Lucius' free arms pressed to the man's neck. His eyes were wide and frightened, bulging out of his head as Lucius seemed to squeeze with gradually increasing force.

When his eyes darted to Harry for a second, only the briefest moment, Lucius struck.

One hand still over the man's lips and the other pressed up to his shoulder, Lucius bent over the tender flesh under the quivering jowls, hiding the sight of the fangs breaking the skin, but Harry knew the exact moment the blood touched Lucius' tongue. Both frames stiffened, in pain and in pleasure, and the man whimpered and Lucius groaned and Harry tried to keep his panting quiet because the sight of Lucius feeding, drinking from someone other than himself, taking those deep pulls and making those sounds-

Harry clutched desperately at his aching lust, pumping his hips unconsciously when Lucius pushed the sagging, dying man higher. He was so frightened by this feeling, but was just like when Lucius had touched him, and he rubbed at the bulge the way Lucius had and - _Oh -_ he bit down on his lip when his love moaned again -_ God, yes! -_ before he pinched at a nipple, recalling and reliving that sensation of centralized pleasure in such a strange area of his body.

When Lucius had finally finished with his meal, he lifted his head and let the corpse collapse on the ground. Harry threw his head back when he saw the blood dripping from Lucius' lips. He watched as, still looking down at the lifeless body, Lucius raised a hand the gather the remaining precious fluid, savoring the taste as he lapped it up slowly. Harry didn't understand quite what was happening when his lust overflowed into something material, staining his trousers with a damp heat; he didn't care. He shuddered and pressed his hand against his crotch forcefully until it became too much. He let his hands fall to his side and shut his eyes, wanting to burrow in that pleasure and never leave it. _What was that?_

He was still trying to catch his breath when Lucius turned to him, ears catching the irregular breathing. "Harry?"

And though Harry wasn't sure he could explain it himself, Lucius seemed to know exactly what happened, because he immediately glanced down at the stain, his nostrils flaring and his jaw clenching.

"I just -"

Whatever was on the tip of his tongue disappeared when Lucius suddenly dropped to his knees before him. He grasped the young man's hips and - there was really no other way to say it - he began to devour Harry. His tongue lapped over the stain in Harry's breeches, his nose rubbed all over the area, making the boy wince at the over-stimulation but Lucius would not let up.

"_Please_," he choked out.

He massaged Harry's thigh, purring, "You're young, my heart. It won't take long at all." He pressed his lips to the young man's left hip, then right, alternating between side as he drew closer and closer to his middle. His tongue shot out to taste the wetness still on Harry's trousers, and his cock gave a lively twitch. "There we are," Lucius laughed gently, his eyes gleaming hungrily. "Awake already, aren't you?"

He tugged down Harry's trousers, burying his nose in the patch of hair before licking at it, taking in the remnants of Harry's pleasure. The sensation of Lucius tongue on him was even more intense than Harry's own hands, or even Lucius' hands on him.

"One of the drawbacks of drinking is that you never quite manage to end the thirst."

Looking down, Harry was thrilled and excited by the sight of Lucius' pointed teeth hovering over such a intimate area. He gasped and clutched at the wall behind him, trying not to lose himself, hoping Lucius would forgive him when he did. One hand suddenly shot out to grab Lucius' head, digging into the fine blond hair as he thrust himself into Lucius' laughing mouth.

He felt the man closing around his flesh, even as the man stared up with him, that same hunger in his eyes that he had upon seeing the drunken stranger.

And then he swallowed.

For the second time that night, Harry's body seemed to thrum with his pleasure. His soul soared from himself and burst into the night, and he was sure he would never feel so consumed with his own desire as he did just now. When he came back to himself, Lucius was standing tall, holding him up, keeping the boneless mass of man from sliding to the ground.

"I'd never… felt anything quite like that."

Lucius smirked. "I suspected as much, love."

For a moment, they were locked in the warm gaze, sated and loving both. Harry leaned up to press a closed-mouth kiss to Lucius' lips, too uncertain as to whether he could stomach the taste of someone's blood and his own release over the pure taste of Lucius.

"This went differently than I anticipated." Lucius leaned his forehead against the young man's, eyes half-shut and glittering.

Harry gave a half-smile. "You didn't expect me to bring myself off watching you feed from a stranger?"

Lucius raised an eyebrow and straightened. "Crudely put, Harry… But that was decidedly _not_ the reaction I hoped for."

The change in the vampire's tone gave Harry pause. "Did you want to frighten me?" The silence came as tacit affirmation.

"… Are you angry?"

He pressed his lips together and turned away, and Harry was prepared to extract himself from the secure embrace - _I'm a freak, aren't I? _- when Lucius crushed him to his chest suddenly.

The man breathed into his hair a phrase so little-heard in his life: "I'm _proud _of you."


	3. Lesson Two, Part One

**Author's Note: **I had to split this chapter because, holy Hell, Lucius was busy.

**Lesson in the Dark**

_Lesson Two: Death_

_Part One_

"What's our next lesson, then?" Harry asked as they landed on the familiar ground of his village.

"Looking forward to an encore performance, are you?"

"You have to admit, it was spectacular."

Lucius gave a strange smile and touched the corner of Harry's mouth. "Believe me when I say you won't like it nearly as much."

Harry frowned and studied Lucius' face. He couldn't imagine what unpleasantness Lucius would have him do; he could barely imagine doing anything with him that he wouldn't enjoy, having already watched the man feed. Unless he would make Harry feed now? He didn't think he could, not yet…

"I trust you," he capitulated. Whatever it was, Lucius had made it clear Harry would have to learn from it before he would turn him - so Harry would happily comply.

"Your acceptance is quite… appealing."

Harry stood on his toes eagerly, feeling the lips on his even before Lucius initiated the kiss. It was becoming easier and easier to anticipate these gestures and respond to them accordingly. He arched into Lucius when he traced his long hands down his back. He moaned when he felt those hands roaming over his bottom.

"Now, now, we mustn't get too excited…" Lucius murmured as he set Harry back down and straightened the boy's clothes as much as he could, brushing the boy's hair from his face and running his fingers through it. Harry had to take deep breaths once they parted, and he stared at Lucius' dazedly. He didn't sound breathless at all! "Can't have you looking so disheveled when you walk in, can we?"

"Well, that's not exactly all my fault, now, is it?" he grumbled, still put-out.

"I take full responsibility for ravishing you. I promise to make amends later…" The promises and threats ran up and down Harry's spine along the same path Lucius' hands had. "But for now, go home, love."

He leaned up, breathing against Lucius' lips. "I want…" His lips parted and he moved closer, but Lucius stopped him with both hands on his slight shoulders.

"I will give you everything you want… so long as you do as I ask."

He understood the challenge. If Harry continued obeying, he would continue earning such rewards.

"Will you be waiting for me?" he asked immediately, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it all the same.

He stroke Harry's cheek and obliged:

"Always."

As he slid through the open door, Harry realized he suddenly felt unsettled to be so utterly without Lucius, and only after such a short span of time. He had all but forgotten his human family dwelling within the simple wooden structure. He supposed he would have to thank his graces his entrance was silent. He stretched his hands forward to grasp the landmarks (_Here's the table… the stairs should start right here-_)

He almost made it to the doorway before he saw the flicker of flame from the top of the staircase.

"Sit - _down_."

Harry paled as he turned to obey. He didn't know how Vernon knew he wasn't home, or how he knew when Harry returned. It didn't matter now, did it? He trembled as he headed towards the chair Vernon indicated. Vernon eclipsed the warmth and safety Lucius had made Harry feel - as was always the case, the morning after Lucius had visited him when he was a child.

"Uncle-"

"Shut up!" the man hissed, spitting in Harry's face as he leaned towards him. "Don't you dare speak, boy!" From this new proximity, Harry could smell the sharpness of the drink in Vernon's breath. The man set the candle on the table and leaned over Harry. "After everything you put us through, you think you can go gallivanting around town like some ruffian? After everything we do for you, you spoiled, selfish, useless- Look at me when I'm talking, boy!" He demanded, grabbing Harry's chin and forcing his face forward again.

He didn't know what possessed him - maybe it was the rediscovery of what it felt to be loved again which empowered him, but he stood suddenly, slapping the hand away from him.

"My name isn't 'boy!'"

…Whatever it was which made him act disappeared quickly in the face of Vernon's rage. He fell to the floor as his uncle struck him. "You dare disrespect me? Where have you been, _boy_?"

"That's none of your business!" He wiped his mouth where he felt blood welling… Oh, Lucius wouldn't be pleased about that. Thoughts of the man made him more reckless. "I don't need to answer to you anymore!"

His blood ran cold the second the words left his mouth, for Vernon, drunk as he was, couldn't miss the blatant disrespect. He snarled violently and grabbed the boy's neck.

"You worthless mongrel!"

And the flurry that came next was so familiar Harry he almost fell into the lull of it, feeling his head jerk back with the first slap, curling into the kick to his abdomen, chanting a plea that never helped. So when it stopped - suddenly and much sooner than Vernon usually would, Harry remained on the ground, hiding his face beneath his arm. _Leave me be, leave me be, just let me die here, please-_

He had never been so lucky before; that wouldn't change so soon, it seemed.

Vernon grabbed him up by his hair, and Harry cringed and whined in the grasp. He raised his hands to scrabble fruitlessly at Vernon's thick fingers. In this position, he felt vulnerable once again - even more so when his uncle leaned into him and muttered, "You stink of a brothel… Is that where you've been?"

Harry spluttered and gasped. By now, he had surely recognized that look in the man's beady eyes. His hands, which had frozen at his hair once he heard the man's words, were suddenly bound.

_Oh no no no, God, no-_

His fat hand reached to tug off Harry's trousers, and so shocked by what was going on, he could only please, "No, Uncle Vernon! Please, don't - I was only -" He couldn't let this happen, but what could he do? He had never been able to stop the man before. Even so, he twisted in the man's grip, "Uncle -!"

Somewhere in the bedlam, they knocked the candle off the low table and rolled on the floor. In one moment, in the flickering, moving light, Harry stared in fear at Vernon's wide-eyed sneer. In the next, just as the light danced from them, he saw an even more horrific sight.

Lucius, his face contorted in rage, swooping over Vernon like -

Like an avenging angel.

The candle had rolled into one of the chairs and set it afire, casting Lucius in brilliant, fearsome light as he grabbed Vernon and threw him to the ground, leaning over him with fangs bared and eyes alight with rage. "_How dare you touch what is mine?_" he hissed fiercely. He gripped the sparsely-haired head, baring the thick neck -

Harry felt an unfamiliar fear bubbling within him as he saw the gentle hands morph to claws and dig into Vernon's flesh. The once-teasing lips formed a harsh snarl, and the soft purr became a growl. This was Death himself in the shape of Harry's hero.

He scrambled from the ground and pushed towards the stairs, not knowing or caring if Lucius noticed him - simply wanting to be away from the horrible image.

"Oh, but I won't kill you yet," Harry heard before he shut himself up in the attic, just in time to cut off the frightened cry from the one man Harry feared the most.

He slammed the door to his room quickly. How strange to think that only hours ago, this very same room had been the stage to that long awaited reunion. _How awful, you mean, _his treacherous mind tried to supplement as he tried not to think of what was happening below. He sat on his bedding and buried his hand in his hair. That… _monster _below… Harry could not forget that it was still a part of Lucius, one he had to accept, to become, even. Was that even possible for him?

Before tonight, he was content with his simple life. In the tavern, he was able to take part in the nightly unwinding of all those familiar faces, though he was still so distanced from them. In the village, he had a handful he could comfortably call friends; surely they would miss him? And what of the most obvious, pressing issue at hand - _"I won't kill you yet,"_ he had said…

Could Harry kill so easily? Watching Lucius feeding from that man was one thing, but he was sure this had nothing to do with hunger. He pressed his hands to his eyes, trying to press out the image in his head, though up here, he heard nothing of what was happening this very moment.

He felt a brief moment of panicked rebellion. Why should he change everything, become a killer, a fiend, overnight? He wouldn't do it. He couldn't, he who teared up every time he heard a mother wailing after the despondent physician leaving her house; he never failed to give a free drink to the kindly man those too-often nights.

When he heard the knob of his door turning, he shot up and back up to the window. _Are you going to jump, you coward?_ he mentally berated himself.

Lucius stood in the open doorway for a moment; in that space, Harry felt a tension release in his relief when he realized he wasn't afraid of Lucius. Even with those wide, wild eyes, Harry was safe in the surety that this man would not harm him. He was in terror at the thought of what Vernon was put through.

Without hesitation, he raced across the room to wrap his arms around Lucius' neck, just as he flew to Harry with a determination that rightly should have given the young man pause. A part of him wanted to ask what was wrong with Uncle Vernon and to find out if Lucius was alright; the other part of him relished in the way he seemed to swallow Harry with his kisses - but he broke away and gasped as if to himself against Harry's neck, "It's not enough, no…"

Harry groaned and arched against Lucius' body, baring his neck, offering himself the only way he knew how to. "_Yes._" He whimpered and shuddered when Lucius licked a line up to his chin and almost cried out when he stopped.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he murmured lowly.

He stiffened in Lucius' grasp, wanting it more than he remembered wanting anything, but Lucius was not in a giving mood. He all but tossed Harry onto his bed, following only after he had locked the door. Harry tried to ask what was going on, but the man turned him over, pressing against the boy's back.

"I can smell him on you," he hissed as he began to thrust himself against Harry. He planted a hand on the wall in front of him as he started moving in time with the forceful thrusts, feeling the undeniable hardness of Lucius' desire against him. He felt like Lucius had given him pleasure in so many different ways, and he finally had the chance to reciprocate in such a simple way, allowing Lucius to pleasure himself using his body.

In a paradoxical way, he felt more in power now, face down in his this bedding and bent over uncomfortably, than he had ever felt before. He arched his back and pressed firmly back against Lucius, making the man moan suddenly. He grabbed a fistful of Harry's hair and pressed his face sideways to the bed. From the corner of his eye, he could see the hunger lining Lucius' face as he leaned over the boy.

"_You are mine_," he whispered into Harry's ear. "Say it!"

Harry closed his eyes and tried to gain control of his breathing, but he only succeeded in feeling more acutely the way Lucius' tongue traced the shell of his ear. He grasped and reached down to grab his own length unconsciously, stoking the heat of his lust and lost in the action.

"I- I am- hngh!"

His mouth opened into a gape as he fell into the rhythm: thrust back against Lucius, forward into his hand (a shiver_, _a gasp), back again-

"No," Lucius ground against him and took Harry's hand, now pressed both on the wall as Harry had done, one hand still clenching Harry's hip. "Say it."

In this position, Harry couldn't even achieve any friction for himself, but he hardly noticed, continuing to move his hips in time with Lucius'. The man groaned and he released the hand on the boy's hip as he fumbled with his own fastenings. When he roughly tugged off Harry's trousers, he ordered again, "_Say it_."

Harry blushed at being so exposed in front of Lucius, but his moment of embarrassment passed quickly when he began to move again in the same rhythm, but with an entirely new level of _wonderful_. He seemed to be able to feel every curve of Lucius' length rubbing against his entrance. He felt himself twitch and he could scarcely breathe when the smooth rhythm stuttered. Lucius was nearly there, he knew instinctively, and he struggled to get the words out. "I am -"

Lucius stopped, pressing his wet tip to Harry's opening. The young man felt Lucius' hand moving on himself, like Harry had. He closed his eyes, imagining just how it would look, with Lucius' hair still mussed from Harry's grip, with the man's eyes like molten silver as he stared down at Harry.

"I am _yours_," he whispered harshly, determined to vocalize the words he felt were true with his whole being.

And Lucius began to thrust against him, fitting himself between Harry's cheeks and nearly penetrating him. Harry felt a thrill at the intimate contact, gasping when Lucius starting stroking him in the same rhythm. He fell forward on his now-free hands. He felt himself teeter on the edge when Lucius stopped, gripped his base, and demanded cruelly, "Again."

"I'm yours, _yours_- Lucius!" he cried desperately.

He knew immediately what that heat spreading across his back was, and the knowledge that it was his body, his words which brought Lucius to release made him swell one final time before he spurted messily across his sheet.

He collapsed quite quickly after that.

* * *

**AN: **I almost didn't post this chapter, but it was finished anyway, so I thought, why not. Word count clocked at over 12,500 currently, but if I might pull the story if I don't get more than one review for the chapter. Is that too much to ask for? /end pity party

Also, character death coming up. Guess who's biting the dust.


	4. Lesson Two, Part Two

**Author's Note: **Yeah, so life has taken a huge dump on me. But that's ok, because the muses helped me take out my frustration. (Also, sorry for the wait - I had this chapter ready for a while but completely forgot to post it!)

**Lessons in the Dark**

_Lesson Two: Death_

_Part Two_

When Harry's opened his eyes again, not too long after that dangerously powerful orgasm, he felt Lucius' body draped carefully over his. Slowly, as if in repentance for his unprecedented roughness, the man slid down Harry's body, eased by what Harry could only assume was the same fluid he produced in his pleasure. He was too exhausted, he knew, having released _three_ times that night, when he had never before experienced such before. He hummed when he felt Lucius' tongue reverently mark a path down his spine.

"Hn, what are you-?" He stiffened immediately when he felt a warm, slick tongue at his entrance. "_Lucius_!"

He was almost ashamed at the whine he let out; mostly, he was startled at the sensation. Of all the amazing things Lucius had done to him, with him, this was one of the farthest things from his imagination. He lavished in the attention as Lucius carefully cleaned up every drop of his release. There was no way either of them could become aroused against so soon, and it warmed him even more to think that there was no motive of pleasure in the act, only love.

When he was finished, Lucius lay against Harry, pulling him close and burying his nose in Harry's hair.

"You've driven me to madness," he whispered. "How?" as if Harry knew how to answer such a question.

He stroked the back of the hand against his chest.

"What did you do to him?"

Lucius sighed tiredly. "I suppose I'd have to show you eventually."

For a moment, neither made any motion to rise. Harry didn't want to see. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to be afraid.

He wondered if Lucius was feeling the same trepidation - Did he finally see how ill-equipped Harry was to handle such a thing? Was he disappointed? Was he angry?

"Come," Lucius murmured, rising and dressing himself and Harry again. The boy tugged at the looser waist of his trousers.

"Damn, I only have two pairs," he groused.

Lucius scoffed and gently brushed his hair from his face, "Please, you won't need them again after tonight. I've taken care of everything."

Harry warmed with happiness. He hadn't lost his chance, after all; Lucius still seemed to be planning to take him.

"Now, you will not like what I'll do; don't say I didn't give you fair warning."

His face fell slightly, but he nodded.

As he tried to follow Lucius down the stairs after he unlocked the door, he stumbled into the man; his sight wasn't very good even in broad daylight. He felt Lucius chuckle, "Wait here," and he was left in the dark for only a moment before Lucius returned, lit candle in hand.

"I certainly can't let you fall to your death now that I have you."

"Well, excuse my weak human eyes," he mumbled, causing Lucius to laugh lowly again. As they made their way down the stairs, passing the hall with the Dursleys' rooms, he wondered for the first time if Aunt Petunia and Dudley were even in the house. They must have heard something, between Vernon being attacked and… what he and Lucius had done.

Thoughts of them flew from his mind when he caught sight of Vernon on the floor. He looked like a trussed pig, hands and legs both bound tightly behind him. His mouth was gagged by a strip of his shirt. There was a sizeable lump on his head from where Lucius must have knocked him senseless.

Harry set the candle down by Vernon's head, letting it at as a meager barrier between him and the grotesque disfigurement of the once familiar, cruel face. It was obvious that Lucius made the most with the short time he was downstairs.

He seemed to do the most damage he could without spilling blood.

"Anyone you love will be but a brief flicker in your life." Lucius stood by as Harry kneeled beside the bulbous man. His hands were clasped behind his back, and he gave off an air of boredom, but there was enough light for Harry to see the quiet rage in his eyes. "In the end, you will be as alone as if they had never lived at all."

"What a foolish thing to say." He was surprised by his own terseness, but he suddenly couldn't stop himself. "No death can erase a memory."

"Memory, what good is memory? What I am, what you will be - we are above memory. We are the present and our company is the living."

"So you'll kill him to teach me such a lesson?"

"Oh, I won't."

Harry looked up at Lucius sharply to see him offering a white pillow. In confusion, he stood and let Lucius push the pillow into his hands. His fingers clenched it automatically, and he noted it was much to soft to be his own. His heart sped with the realization that it must have come from either Dudley's or Petunia's room.

He found himself croaking, "You would have me murder my family?"

Lucius spat, "Family? _Him_?" He kicked Vernon sharply and the man opened his eyes with a muffled cry. "Speak, you animal." A pen knife seemed to appear from air into Lucius' hand; he cut through the gag, which he tore from the man's mouth. "Tell him why you kept him!"

"You have no right-! Once the law gets on you, I swear-"

"Do you know?" Harry asked furiously of Lucius. He never did figure out why, if his family so hated him, they took him in when he was a child. They could have figured out some was to abandon him somewhere and come up with a reasonable, socially acceptable explanation. But why did they force themselves to house him, and force him to bear their disdain? "How?"

"Did you think I would forget you while I was gone?" Lucius asked, shifting quickly from rage to surprise.

"Well, I didn't expect you to… do research!" he sputtered.

"Quite the term, but that sounds much too neat for the work I did."

"Prideful thing," Harry muttered. He wrung the pillow in his hands, looking at Vernon, whose eyes stayed locked on Lucius, like trapped prey.

"There are some things I'm not at liberty to tell you," he continued with a small scowl. "But it took years to get information on you from my… acquaintance."

Harry felt a chill knowing that someone knew such things about him - someone other than Lucius knew Harry was unwanted, unloved. Someone knew and left him to his fate. And what of the sudden secrecy? The only other time Lucius sounded this way was when he talked about his first feeding.

Lucius didn't give him the chance to question this.

"But _he_," he nudged the man sharply with his boot. "He can tell you. Tell him why you kept him, you beast."

Vernon's face was damp with sweat when he blubbered, "I can't, I can't, he said -!"

"Whatever he threatened you with cannot possibly be worse than death," Lucius sneered. "Tell him now, or die and let me tell him - which will it be?"

"A man!" Vernon sobbed. "A dark man, he gave us the boy, he wouldn't take it himself - but we did! We took you," he finally turned to Harry, "He wouldn't have you, but we _did_! We fed you and clothed you and -"

Lucius grew frustrated with the drivel. "He said to take care of Harry, didn't he? He said to treat him as your own. Did you? Is this how you treated your son? Did you try to break him, too? Use him? Crush him?" He crouched over Vernon, grabbing the thick throat and squeezing carefully. "Oh, but of course not," he said with a feigned gentleness. "You loved your son. But Harry?" As his lips spread into a snarl, his pointed teeth became more pronounced, and Vernon flailed, useless against the cloth binding his limbs. "He meant less than _nothing _to you."

"Stop!"

The vampire looked over to Harry to see him covering his face with the pillow meant to suffocate Vernon. Just who was Lucius trying to hurt? Didn't he realize how callous he sounded? Didn't he realize how very raw his words made him feel?

He wrapped his arms around Harry's wrists, moving the hands away from his face, trying to convey his love and remorse in the same gaze.

"Don't."

"The most he did for you is keep you alive," Lucius whispered. Harry closed his eyes and bowed his head in resignation. His hands were limp within Lucius' hold, only barely holding on to the pillow.

"But for that, I should thank you," his voice sharpened again when he addressed Vernon. "I suppose my gesture of gratitude will be allowing Harry to kill you rather than having your for myself."

Harry started at the almost casual mention. He clenched his hands on the soft mass of down. He recognized it now, so often had he set it neatly against the headboard; this was Petunia's. So it she wasn't sleeping, safe in ignorance and unconsciousness, where was she?

"What if he fights me?"

"I will help you," Lucius said, as if it should have been obvious. "But only so much."

Still leaning over Vernon, he held down Vernon's thick shoulders, his blond hair failing past his shoulders in a way Harry could have appreciated in any other scenario. Harry knelt above his uncle's head, squeezing the pillow compulsively when he stared down at the man. Vernon was still making pitiful noises, begging Lucius, trying to bargain with him, as if he had anything the vampire could want.

"I'm sorry," Harry found himself whispering.

Vernon looked up at Harry in bewilderment, as if he forgot just who his threat was at the moment.

"Goodbye, Uncle Vernon."

And that was the last him he saw the man's face morph into a look of pure hatred, his chest swelling to spew slurs at him. He put all his weight into the pillow, shutting his eyes as if he could block out the sin, though he felt the man struggling as much as he could under Lucius' strength. There was no forgetting that below the soft material, there was a living, wheezing thing. He shut his eyes and pressed down, blocking out the moment when the twitching stopped, or the gentle prodding of Lucius trying to get him to relax.

"Harry, please…"

He felt the hot tears trailing down the side of his face against his wishes.

"My love…"

He sobbed, bowing his head into his arm.

Whether it was impatience or desperation, Lucius finally lifted Harry's hands, almost without effort. The boy collapsed against Lucius, crying for reasons unknown.

"Harry," he raised Harry's face, looking into the glittering jade feverishly. "I'm so proud of you," he heard before he felt Lucius' tongue in his mouth, and he tasted the sweetness of his blood.

Whatever heaviness lay in his heart in the aftermath of his crime faded, and his hunger surged. This wasn't the hunger he had felt before, where his whole body shivered and yearned; he needed to feed the frightened thing inside him, he needed to quell it before it overwhelmed him.

"_Harry,_" Lucius groaned and pushed Harry away. He pressed his face into the boy's neck and breathed heavily, and Harry struggled to cling to the taste, to allow it to overtake any other thoughts which he surely could not handle just yet.

He let Lucius lead him to his feet, and moved to the stairs at Lucius' gentle urging.

"You must never stay near the body. Never let the death be traced back to you."

Harry nodded, and allowed Lucius to lead him from the corpse.


	5. Lesson Three

**Author's Note:** I should be studying, so obviously this is the optimal time for a new chapter. Which was 80% done like a month ago and I'm sorry.

**Lessons in the Dark**

_Lesson Three: Hunger_

Lucius stood behind Harry as they stared at the stars, their bodies only a hairsbreadth apart, but the younger man was grateful for the miniscule space. It was a petty, pointless revenge, but he didn't want to feel Lucius' hands on him just now.

"I won't ask your forgiveness," the man started gently, carefully. _And rightly so_, Harry thought as he drew a little closer to the windows (and a little father from Lucius). "But I hope that you understand my motives…" He stroked a hand along Harry's arm, but the boy jerked away.

"I do understand, or at least, I _did_! You were trying to teach me about what it is to be a vampire. But that?" He gestured to the doorway, and he could almost see Vernon's freshly departed soul filling the frame. He shied away from the thought and covered his mouth to prevent the frightened noise, and took a breath to calm himself. _There will always be ghosts in this house._

"That was over the line, Lucius," he said weakly.

"I only meant -"

"No matter what your point was, how did you expect me to react when you asked me to kill me uncle?"

"I admit, perhaps I should have -"

"- warned me first?" Harry snapped.

"- _prepared _you better." Lucius didn't look completely abashed, but that admission was a start. Harry relaxed when Lucius moved away from him. Though he couldn't hear Lucius moving, he could feel the man pacing the length of the room. "I've been picturing this night for so long and to think it could unravel so quickly…"

"It's your own fault," he mumbled, even as he realized Lucius would hear him just fine.

He gasped when Lucius, who he thought was on the other side of the small room, grasped his shoulders. "You're refusing to see what I am!"

"You are _not_ cruel!"

"I bring death where I go, Harry. _We_ bring death -" The angered look on his face lessened into something more annoyed, and he cocked his head towards the door. "Excuse me for a moment," he murmured and he glided away.

"You owe me a better explanation, Lucius!" he hissed after him, crossing his arms and planting himself against the wall, determined to wait there until Lucius returned.

The man looked back at him with a dark, amused look in his eyes, mouth finally settling in an apologetic line. "My wife would say the same thing when we fought… I suppose I'm just as graceless as I've always been."

Harry flushed, at first with indignation that he was being compared Lucius' wife - of whom he'd never spoken before - and then with a secret pleasure - he was being compared to Lucius' wife! As angry as he was still, the effect wasn't lost on him.

"Our first fight?" he offered with a crooked grin.

Lucius' face softened and he took a step forward, only to turn to the undetectable noise again. He sighed impatiently and promised, "I'll only be a minute," leaving only when Harry nodded his permission.

Harry was allowed a moment to himself to think, unburdened by Lucius' affecting presence. He wondered if he would always feel this way with Lucius, as if he was being wound higher and higher until he was fit to burst. Would he go mad from such living? In one night, he had seen Lucius feed for the first time (which wasn't too difficult) and he had killed his own uncle (which was more difficult than he'd care to admit), and now? He was almost frightened at the prospect of the next lesson, that it would be beyond him, and he'd fail Lucius - or worse, it would tear Harry apart irredeemably.

He moved to sit on the old, weathered sheet of his, the same one he had when Lucius first came to him. Nostalgia washed over him, and he was stuck again by the surrealism of his situation. People weren't meant to go through such moral strain, he was sure. Could he survive this?

The question would have to be answered another time; Lucius returned with a satisfied look on his face. Harry didn't hear anything from outside of the room which may have clued him in on what happened - but that look? It spoke volumes. There were only two other people left in the house, after all.

Rather than feeling frightened again, Harry found himself making light of the situation. Lucius wouldn't be so stupid as to kill _them_ so soon, too. "Are the children tucked in, then?"

Lucius smirked an nodded, playing along. "Yes, dear."

Harry reached out, and Lucius came to him, bringing the slim hands to his lips and kissing them reverently.

"So, what are you going to have me do?" His voice was quiet, careful, afraid equally of breaking their moment of peace and of what the answer would be.

"_We_," he corrected, so occupied with the tips of Harry's fingers that he didn't elaborate. Harry drew his hands back, and Lucius chased them to Harry's waiting mouth. Lucius continued to bestow his gentle kisses uninterrupted. The brunet reached up to lock his fingers behind Lucius' neck, half from motivation to forestall the revelation of the impending trial, and half from the pleasure he derived at having such intent attention on him.

He felt Lucius' hands moved from his shoulders down to the backs of his thighs, startled when the man grasped him and hoisted him up waist-level. Harry wrapped his legs around Lucius automatically, tilting his head back when the man's nose nudged at his jaw. Though his eyes were shut, he felt the sway of legs below his, and was less surprised when he and Lucius fell to the bed. Even the change from vertical to horizontal didn't stir the vampire from his single-minded focus, seeming determined to kiss every section of skin above Harry's collarbone. On his part, Harry didn't mind in the slightest. He threaded his hands in Lucius' hair, cradling him, lulled by the quietest kisses and the whispers of their clothes brushing.

Once Lucius deemed his first task finished, he proceeded to trail his nose along random paths, still contained to only Harry's neck and up.

"Not that I'm complaining…" the young man finally murmured, "But what are you doing?"

"Just trying to take my fill of you," he whispered, a hint of breathlessness in his voice.

With a final kiss on the tip of Harry's nose, the man sat up. When he brushed Harry's hair back from his face, he sighed gently.

"I don't know where I would be if I didn't come to you those years ago, my love… But I'm still doing so many things all wrong… If I cannot control myself, I have no hope in helping you in your first years as a fledging. This is as much a lesson for me as it is for you."

"What are you going to do?" He felt that Lucius was bracing himself for something, and Harry only hoped it wasn't a goodbye.

"_We_," Lucius corrected gently, much to Harry's relief, "are moving too quickly. Once I change you, all you will know is hunger. Even in my years, there are times when it seems my hunger will be too much for me." He stroked Harry's cheek. "And I must remember that to yield to my hunger can be detrimental."

"You haven't hurt me," Harry protested, holding Lucius' hand to his face.

"But I could have. Before, when he hit you. I almost-" He broke off, pursing his lips and turning his head as if in shame. "It was selfish, thoughtless, and I could have hurt you more than I did. I must not allow myself to lose control again, especially when _your_ well-being is at risk."

"And how do you intend to have us slow down?"

"We are going to abstain."

What a strange notion for Harry, who had so little vices in his life from which _to_ abstain. Yet now, filled with the sensation of Lucius on him so solidly, there was only one thing on his mind.

"Unfair," he choked out, grabbing Lucius' had and pressing it to his hardness.

"Not so unfair." Lucius took Harry's free hand and mirrored the gesture. The young man groaned, feeling the thrill again at knowing he had aroused Lucius. He began to rub the heel of his hand against Lucius, loving the sudden sharp intake of breath.

"Harry!" he reprimanded from the edge of the room, disappearing from their comfortable hold.

"Sorry, sorry," Harry sat up and tried to look guilty.

"You're a minx." Yet as Harry watched, the man visibly pieced his together his self-control.

"It _is _unfair… it's so easy for you to fight your desire," he complained.

"Come, now, do you think my control is so simply won? This is something I've learned over years of error after error. It is a part of what I am… it is something you must learn."

He recognized that almost-apologetic tone and he blanched. "You're going to make me do something dreadful again, aren't you?"

"We're going to push ourselves as far as we can, Harry… and I do mean _we_. I won't make you do this alone."

"What is it?" he finally asked, a note of panic sharp in his voice.

It looked like Lucius wanted to go to him, to calm him with a touch as he so easily could, but he held his fists to his sides. "We are going to starve, Harry."

Harry was used to being hungry. He was used to having to carry around an achingly empty stomach for days and pretending he was alright. When Lucius finally answered his question, he was so relieved, he laughed.

"Where do we start?" he asked, as if it was an exercise he could be over with before the night finished.

But Lucius had other plans in mind.

It started simply. For week, he and Lucius stayed in that room together. He allowed the boy water when he asked, but neither of them were allowed sustenance.

They spent the whole time sitting in the night. The shutters were sealed and draped, and he had no sense of the passage of time. In the thick of darkness, Lucius could be with him for hours and hours - longer than an actual night, Harry was sure. Once in a while, the man disappeared for a time - fetching water, emptying Harry's chamber pot, and "taking care" of the two remaining Dursleys (Harry hoped that meant he was feeding them - daily, at least).

It was okay, really. Until Lucius started to bring the food.

Having determined early in his life that the best way to escape pain or discomfort was to be asleep, he split his time between that and talking to Lucius. That first day it happened (or night, whichever it happened to be), he woke up to see a plate on the floor within his range of sight. On it was any normal loaf of bread, and when Harry reached for it and held it, it didn't feel oven-warm, it didn't smell freshly-baked…

But, God, Harry must have gone without anything solid in his stomach for _days_.

He glanced up at the door. Unsurprisingly, Lucius was there without Harry realizing it.

"Why would you…?" he started, the words feeling heavy in his salivating mouth. Even though the bread wasn't warm enough to actually give off a scent, close to his nose, he could smell the purity of grain.

"Because our hunger is not a quiet thing. You will be surrounded by mortals, and you will want to drain every single one of them."

"So you're taunting me with something I can't have," he summarized flatly.

Lucius plucked the loaf from Harry's loose grasp. "And it will only get worse," he whispered.

He wasn't lying.

A few days later, Harry woke to the smell of very fresh, very warm bread - he held it in his hands until it grew cold. In a few more days, they progressed to soups, stews, slices of meat. The forbidden meals grew more and more decadent (Lucius started to bring food from outside the village, it was too deliciously exotic to be local). Fruits and vegetables of all different colors and meats he couldn't name - Lucius left the food for half a day. When ignoring it wasn't enough for Harry, he tried to distract himself. While he waited for Lucius to deem their period of abstinence complete, or for the hunger to take him (whichever came first), the two spoke.

Admittedly, their first few attempts didn't end well, with both parties starving and moving towards the ends of the tethers. Soon, though, Harry managed to approach the topic without volatility.

They lay on their sides facing each other, and the only point of contact was Harry's hand resting against Lucius' face, as if ensuring Lucius didn't move from his sight (he wouldn't).

"It could have been anyone else, you know."

The conversation was almost worn out at this point, and Lucius didn't need to question what - or who - "it" was.

"Is that what you think? Could you really have watched anyone else die and understand what you do now?" His eyebrow raised slightly in challenge.

"Just what am I to understand?"

"Death is not just for the anonymous, Harry." He brought his hand up to cover Harry's, gently stroking the pattern of bones under taut skin. "You didn't feel any sympathy for the man I drank from in that darkened alley that first night, but death won't always be so easy. Mortal are meant to die, and your love for them will not change that fact. You must know with certainty that death has no boundary."

_Ah, is that all?_ He knew now what exactly it was Lucius was trying to frighten into him.

"As hard as you try, you can't try to throw mortality in my face and expect me to embrace it, Lucius. I'm seventeen, I'm being offered immortality, and since we met when I was a child, your blood, what little of it you gave me, it changed me. If it's death you want me to fear," the stoic grey eyes only confirmed his guess, "you can't _force_ me to understand."

"You've grown up with immortal blood in you…" he said uncertainly, as if he only just realized that truth in that. "How do you know it affected you even after I left?"

Harry smiled bitterly. "For one, I don't remember the last time I felt this much pain. After you… Uncle Vernon never seemed to hurt me as much. Or when he did, the pain never lasted as long. I thought for a while… I thought that you were coming in secret." He vaguely recalled the pain of his grief when he realized, after the week of sleepless nights, Lucius was gone. "I never had so much as a cough again, I thought- "

He trailed off when he saw the stricken look on Lucius' face.

"You're already half-changed, aren't you? I killed you the moment I sensed you."

In a flash of movement, he was at the edge of the bed, out of Harry's reach, his head in his hands. Harry spared a moment to scowl at Lucius' maintained dexterity, while he struggled to right himself beside the man. The dizziness last for a moment, but after a deep breath, he said gently, "You're not making any sense."

"I didn't notice before - how could I? - but you smell like me, if only faintly. My- The man who made me would have found you, and killed you for my… indiscretion. I should have drained you the night I found you."

Not that Harry didn't feel half dead just then, stomach aching and body seeming to decay even as he breathed. But the thought that this strange vampire would do violence against Harry, and that he could hear the fear in Lucius' voice… He shuddered and shook the thought away.

"This man, your maker…?" he stopped when he saw Lucius shake his head minutely behind the cover of his hands. _More secrets._ "Some day?" he asked automatically. Lucius nodded after a hesitation.

"What does it matter, any way? You're changing me now. He never found me."

"And yet a few drops of my blood in your childhood seems to have disrupted your entire life," he said, still talking into his wrists.

"You're overreacting. I thought you'd be happy that I had your protection for all these years. Frankly, I don't understand what the problem is. It's not as if I put myself at unnecessary risk, or I flaunted the fact that I recover quickly. What is it you're afraid of?"

Lucius finally surfaced from behind his hands to turn his head and look at Harry. Though he didn't lay a hand on the boy, Harry still felt like Lucius held his head, so compelled was he not to look away from the gaze.

"I just want to make sure that I won't lose you, not to _him_… or to yourself. I won't let you become a monster."

And that admission opened Harry to radiant, awful moment understanding. "You want me to fear what I might become."

Silence.

"What exactly happened to you, the first time you fed?" he asked, remembering the halted conversation from the first night.

Silence.

Then: "It pains me to think of it. I can't… not yet."

"We never stop thinking of blood, do we?" The words tumbled out of him unconsciously.

Lucius pressed hard lips to Harry's temple.

Lucius was weakening. His eyes were wide and wild, the lids as if lined in pink; there were circles under his eyes, his cheeks were sallow… He was not himself.

Yet he always seemed to have complete control.

It was perhaps that fact that blinded Harry to the sorry truth that immortal did not mean invulnerability.

During one of the painful silences in what must have been their third week that Harry heard Lucius' rapid breathing. That he could hear the man at all should have been worrying enough; but that tempo was familiar. He had heard that precursory beat from men and beasts alike before the end.

He raised his eyes from the plate of food in front of him he had been studying, and he finally saw what he had not seen before. Lucius' skin seemed tight against his bones, is hair looked dull and lifeless, his teeth seemed longer - and Harry realized it was because his gums seemed to be drawn back. He looked like a nightmare Harry never wanted to remember.

He realized how much more difficult it must have been for Lucius, who had likely never gone hungry a day in his life. Harry, at least, had the cold comfort of death to look forward to. What must it be like to suffer this hunger for eternity?

"How do you do it?"

Lucius stared at him hungrily for a moment from his position against the door, his eyes roving over his face like it was the last time he would have the chance to. (_Won't it be? _Harry was sure his last breaths were in the air.)

"Would you like me to show you?" Without waiting for an answer, he went to Harry, pulling him to his feet and steadying him. The starving vampire buried his nose in Harry's neck, and the weakened human stiffened.

"You're torturing yourself," he whispered. Was this the equivalent of Harry's untouchable meals?.

"No, love; I'm rewarding myself… Every time I inhale you," he breathed in deeply and sighed, "I've bested the beast for another moment. Your heart is still beating, your blood is still warm -"

"Not for much longer," he mumbled, feeling himself falling apart in Lucius' arms. Darkness was started to creep at the edge of his vision and his head felt stuffed with cotton.

Lucius suddenly grabbed a fist full of his hair, and jerked the boy's head back. Harry gave a small sigh of relief, believing Lucius had finally broken. But Lucius' lips made little contact with his skin; instead, he buried his nose in the taut skin and sniffed, running his nose up and down the length of his neck.

He was lightheaded, leaning heavily on Lucius because he knew he couldn't stand on his own, and Lucius' body felt so _good _against him though he was so _cold_.

"If I die like this," Harry tried to say, though he couldn't know whether Lucius heard him, "I won't mind. I used to fear hunger before."

He could count his last breaths, he knew. He felt Death's harsh and impatient sighs at his back. As much as it hurt, he needed to use these fading moments of his to tell Lucius he loved him, to tell him how happy he was to die in his arms, to beg for him to drink and deny his own hunger the chance of ending him.

"I want it to be you," was all he managed before he blacked out.

**AN: **Reviews always appreciated!


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